


Dust to Dust

by occultangels



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, Hallucinations, M/M, endgame trailer spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 23:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17253758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultangels/pseuds/occultangels
Summary: One moment Tony is fighting TaskMaster. The next moment he's back on Titan.





	Dust to Dust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shi_Toyu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu/gifts).



Tony takes measured breaths. Still hyper-aware of his dwindling oxygen supply. He does not have the air to waste with pointless panic. He does not have the strength to cry. The eyes of his crushed helmet follow him with its dark empty slits. 

"Tony!" A familiar male voice calls out. Tony twitches slightly. Against his better judgment, he sighed deeply. His lungs burn. 

"Tony!" The voice calls again. The sound rattles in his skull; as pleasant as it is painful. 

"Tony please!" 

"Bucky..." Tony murmurs through chapped lips. This was not the first time Barnes' voice came to him in the dark. Ripped from his subconscious in a sick wish-fulfilling fantasy. 

It's just a fantasy. 

His eyes slip closed. He feels like he is submerged in water. He can’t move, can’t breathe, can barely think. Dimly, he registers something touching him. He tries to focus on the pressure and claw his way back to reality. He struggles against sluggishness until he’s able to force open his eyes and gasp desperately for breath. 

When he blinks his eyes open he sees Bucky, long hair dangling in his face and looking rather terrified. Fantastic; another hallucination. The apparition grips him strongly but Tony simply rolled his head to the side. It was then he could finally take note of the orange sky above him and the desolate ground beneath him. 

Titan. Did he really never leave? 

"Mr. Stark!" Tony freezes. He looks over Bucky shoulder.

Peter. The kid was okay! Weakly, he reaches out but Bucky holds him in place. Panic fills his lungs and his breathing became erratic. He claws at other man's arms. He needs to get to Peter. Needs to make sure he was okay. 

"Peter!" He cries out. Bucky's face falls and he grips Tony to his chest tighter. The other man still violently fighting back with as much strength as he could muster. 

"Mr. Stark?" Peter's voice cracks. He looks so scared. "Mr. Stark I don't feel so good." 

Tony could feel his heart nearly stop. 

"No no no its okay. Peter!" Tony continues to struggle in vain.   
"I'm sorry." He whimpers. Tony stops fighting.

"No..." He whispers hoarsely. He can dimly hear Bucky saying his name but Tony keeps his eyes on Peter. 

Peter reaches out to him once more. He seems so close now. Tony reaches out, desperate to provide some comfort but he was still being held back. He squirms in the tight grasp but just as his fingertips brushed Peter's; his hand begins to fade into dust. 

Tony watches in anguish as Peter's entire form starts to disintegrate. 

"Tony!" Another voice cries out to him as he watches the dust scatter into the distance. Pepper. How did she get here? Tony looks and there she is, wearing the same sad and scared look Tony had put there countless times before. Before he can call out Rhodey appears next to her. Then Steve. Then Strange. 

Even Bucky who looks at him sadly; still holding him in his arms as he fades away. 

One by one they all disappear. Tony forces his eyes closed. His legs give out beneath him, curling in on himself. Pressing his forehead against the dirt and tugging at his hair. An animalistic cry of despair is ripped from his throat. 

He cannot breathe. He cannot breathe. He cannot breathe. 

Someone is moving him but Tony cannot open his eyes. Cannot watch them all die again.

It’s his fault. It’s his fault. He cannot breathe. It’s his fault. 

Tony feels like he is going to die. This pain is simply too much for one person to survive. 

In the swirling vortex of his mind, he can hear, between his own hysteric sobs and hitching breathes, what sounds like rough rhythmic Russian. 

He doesn’t open his eyes. Too scared of what he might see, but he leans into the sound. 

For a moment he’s back on the ship. Drifting in and out of lucidity in the darkness of the void. 

Then in the next moment, he’s back on Titan. Back in his broken armor and listening to his friends' last pleas. 

Then he’s in Afghanistan. The hole in his heart threatening to devour him as he begs for release.

Obidiah stands over him and he can’t cry or beg because of the poison in his veins. 

Then it’s New York again. The wormhole that foretold his eventual doom. 

He revisits every tragedy of his life. Reenacts every single one. And by the end, he has no hope left.

But through every single painful memory that feels more real than should be possible; the Russian lullaby follows him. 

Every near-death experience and loss he suffered; the sound is there. Giving him something to hold on to. Something to prove that what’s happening isn’t real. 

 

But it is real. Because Tony is dying and the universe is playing his greatest hits one last time. 

The playback seems to last forever. Tony cannot keep watching his life fall apart over and over so after the fifth or sixth go around; he closes his eyes and listens to the music and surrenders to his pain.   
~~~~~~

When he eventually comes back to consciousness the first thing he notices is that he can no longer here the Russian song. 

The second thing he realizes it that he is laying in a bed. 

This is curious enough that Tony manages to flutter his eyes open slowly. He’s in a hospital; he can decern this immediately based on the number of hospitals he’s been in previously. 

Bucky is by his bed as well. Tony can’t help but smile at his husband. Somehow, despite wearing PJs and sleeping awkwardly in the hard plastic chairs he looks as beautiful as the day of their wedding. 

“Bucky…” He calls out hoarsely. Bucky immediately snaps to attention. Looking to Tony with wide joyful eyes. 

“Tony!” He says breathily with clear relief. “Thank god you’re awake.” He says taking his hand and holding it to his chest. 

Tony smiles softly and looks to Bucky with adoration flooding his eyes. 

“Is this Heaven?” He asks. Bucky’s mouth twitches but he keeps smiling kindly at Tony. 

“No, doll.” He cards a hand through Tony’s hair. “This is real life.” 

Tony’s eyes fill with tears but he does not look away from Bucky who smiles so wide and beautifully at him. 

“I heard you…” He says softly. “Singing.” 

Bucky looks confused for a moment before it dawns on him. “Oh, you heard that? I was just trying to calm you down I didn’t…” He looks sheepish for a moment but Tony continues. 

“Thank you, darling. It helped.” 

Bucky’s eyes get watery as he chuckles nervously. 

“You kept….crying for Peter and I thought...you must be back on Titan and I didn’t know what to do I didn’t know what that asshole Taskmaster stuffed you with and I….” He brings Tony’s hand to his chest. “I was so scared. You were in so much pain and I didn’t know how to bring you back.” 

Tony reaches out and wipes away the tears before they fall. 

“You brought me back. You always bring me back.” 

Bucky leaned into his palm. 

“I’m not going anywhere darling…” 

Tony smiles. “I’m counting on it.” 

Finally, Bucky leans forward and captures his lips in a kiss. The angle is awkward and Tony is still sore in some places and both of them are crying but it doesn’t matter. They have each other. 

Tony has lost a lot in his life. But he has also gained something precious. Tony knows Bucky would never give up on him. 

Perhaps one day he will be able to return the sentimate. 

But for now he kisses the love of his life harder. And reminds himself-

This is real.

**Author's Note:**

> i really liked 2 of my giftees prompts but this is the shorter one. im actually working on a longer piece (multi chaptered) for their other prompt!!! wish me luck!! and sorry for the sap


End file.
